Horrendous Beauty/ Impossible dream boat

Relieved from your clothing,
I imagine
vertically splitting
you.
Right down the middle
of your chest with an axe.
I would see your heart,
pumps and valves starving
for more of what keeps you alive,
your porcelain skin, rose pedals on
snow.
You would make no sound.
The pain is less than you have suffered before,
I would look you in the eyes, we would
stare into each other.

Numbness consumes the pain
and intoxicating endorphins
lift your spirit.
I lose grip of my weaponry.

Slowly I walk towards you,
keeping a humble cadence.
I stopped, our faces were blurred.
We comfortably closed the world out,
we were left with the geometric patterns that
reside in us all.
I could easily hear your soft breath,
my hands warm and wet, I embrace
you internally, my arms warm and wet.
My lips feel yours and neither one of us
wanted this moment to end, but
I selfishly opened my eyes
and the self was all that remained.